I was working with a woman who had come up against a stubborn back injury. Nothing she was doing was helping her feel better. What I know energetically that weakens the physical back is a lack of feeling supported in life, over-giving and an unwillingness to receive. In this case my client shared with me a feeling of having to do everything in her relationship and at home which included the laundry, the dishes, the cleaning, the shopping and the cooking.

I wondered what her back was trying to tell her and why it wouldn’t just let go.When I asked spirit to help find and release any resistance, I saw what appeared to be an old record on the back of her sacrum. I asked what this record would say and the song was by the band Dead or Alive from the 80’s, “You spin me right round baby, right round, like a record baby right round round round.” She remembered a boy that she’d been gaga over back in her teens. The roller coaster of emotions that she went through with that boy was happening with her in her current relationship with a different man but the emotional torture felt the same. All of a sudden he’d been withdrawn and wanting to hang out with his friends more. If she wanted to go out, he would, but it wasn’t fulfilling her need for closeness. I mentioned he could be going through something or tired or he could be responding to her. She had mentioned they had gotten into some heated arguments around this area and she felt badly for hurting him in the past when she expressed her upset in a nasty way. Nothing he did could ever fill this insatiable need she had, like a big black hole never filled.

Unhealed wounds will wreak havoc in our lives like that. It will have us behave in ways that aren’t in alignment with the person we want to be. When our partner feels us pulling at them it could be a turnoff. Have you ever had someone always wanting more of you like this? You wanted to run, right? It’s much better to have our partner be drawn to us by our wholeness and good vibe, than to be clingy. If you’re horrified that this is what you have been doing, take a huge dose of compassion and forgiveness. This can be the works of our unhealed child or teenager inside wanting help.

She asked how she can heal this and stop wanting all of his attention so badly. I let her know that healing isn’t a quick fix, but there are many things we can do to heal what is right in front of us and go from there. Allowing for healing over time requires patience, and the things we do now can make the biggest difference in our relationships.

While doing the energy healing work around this, there were suppressed feelings of longing, abandonment anger and resentment, “He done me wrong,” kind of a feeling that felt like a lifelong theme of suffering. Our partner can feel this from us even when we aren’t speaking. Unless the person is a narcissist, often the patterns of emotional torture we go through have nothing to do with the other person’s intents behind their actions, even though it seems that way from our perspective. They can also also be acting from a wounded place themselves. You never know what is going on for someone unconsciously. Relationships are fertile ground for healing our stuff.

I’ve also learned that our partners feed off of our mood and will guard and protect themselves from the tension in their partner if they feel them stewing. Our internal emotional state has a lot to do with our reality in a relationship and we are able to heal these patterns by becoming aware of and energetically removing the, “broken record.” My client said she hates being emotionally pulled and played over and over again like a record by men she is gaga over. Then I heard the rest of the lyrics that said a long drawn out, “I want your love.”

She said it was the theme of her life to always be wanting to feel loved from a guy and is tired of wanting. I asked if she was ready to release this pattern and ready to heal that hurt of partners or even friends abandoning her and doing her wrong and what the subconscious benefit could be of having this pattern in her life? Could it be that she gets to be angry and right? Getting attention? Suffering or being distracted from pursuing her goals like a kind of self sabotage? She said all three. She’s been mad at the world for doing this to her and was getting a lot of attention from her friends with all the anger and suffering she’s been pointing out from her current relationship. She was ready.

I asked her is she could allow all of this to be here and if she could let it go. She didn’t realize she’d been holding on tightly to the pattern. She said yes and as the energy clearing continued, I saw her energetically reach in and grab the record and toss it like a Frisby. Her back pain disappeared.

I wanted to make sure the pain didn’t come back so I asked her to try something in the following days. I asked her, “What if she actually has the power to shift this pattern in her current relationship through healing herself, taking responsibility for her own happiness and working with her spirit team?” She said she’d try anything at this point.

Have you ever heard the saying, “Distance makes the heart grow stronger?” I asked her to do two things: The first was to do something just for her that would fill herself up and have her feel nurtured that didn’t have to do with her guy. She remembered that she had a girl’s day invitation, but really just wanted to be with him as she barely gets enough of him. I asked her, “Would you rather set yourself up for the possibility of having an ok time with him in the state you’re in or get the guaranteed nurturing and soul fueling that your friends give you?”

It took a lot to convince her to try it, but she did it! She sent me a message the next night that she ripped herself out of bed the next morning, got ready and took off to her meet friends. She had so much attention and comfort and support from her girlfriends and even made two new friends. She felt her spirit was lifted by the vulnerability and open conversation with her friends and happy for the first time in a long time. She realized she was trying to get from her partner the feminine nurturing that only her friends could provide and vowed to make it a regular thing. This would also take the pressure off of her husband to be her everything.

On the way home she tried the second thing I asked her to do. I asked her to call on her spirit team to run the orange red flame of energy through all of the hurt from both of them for their past arguments and to shower them both with the pink ray of unconditional love. She was also to talk to his soul and thank him for what he does provide in the relationship. She said she felt so hopeful that she even asked for a miracle and for her to show up in an empowering way and be the self she knows he fell in love with in the first place.

She said when she got home her husband had done the dishes, the laundry, was inquisitive about her day and even offered to make her dinner and asked her what show she’d like to watch instead of the usual football.

Please comment on anything that resonated with you and what helps you that I haven’t mentioned! Your comments and messages always make it worth it for me.