You are an upbeat, positive person with some good practices of your own. You take responsibility for your life and do your best to take care of yourself. You may even be a healer or sensitive type. What do you do if your partner is suffering?
If you are someone who has a romantic partner who has low self worth, these four tips may help. I had a client as the question, “How do I take care of myself when my partner has depression and low self worth and how can I help him?”
When you are with a partner, it can be extremely challenging to be with them when they are suffering. This could be a way of being for them. While we can’t change anyone, nor can we make them feel better, there are things you can do to honor yourself while being with your partner through these challenges.
These are some tips that you can try if you’ve struggled with this dynamic in your relationships.
- Practice your own self care. If you are a healer or a lifeline for others on the planet, it’s natural to want to help someone who is suffering, especially our partner. We want to help them first. It never goes well. Get your body, your energy and systems in good shape first. The more we do this, the more we can be well for others. Taking a salt bath, foot bath, or just washing your hands in some pink salt is powerful for clearing your energy and coming back to yourself. Going in nature is one of my favorites. This clears your aura from being enmeshed with others energies who may not be resonating with ours. Move your body with dance or exercise. Eat healthy foods.
- Don’t take it on. Stay in your own field. It’s so easy for us to try to fix our partner, especially if we have codependent tendencies where one or both parents tried to fix us. That’s the worst thing you can do in romantic relationships. Our partner can feel it. Would you want to be taken on as a project to be fixed by your partner? I’ve done this so many times. Our partner wants us to see them as capable. When we over care for our partner, it can put us in a mothering role, which isn’t attractive. They might even say, “I can’t do anything right with you.” Or they might feel like you’re hypercritical of them. Again, not attractive. If your partner asks you for help, a good way to say what you’d like them to do is, “The thing I would love to see you do is…” and fill in the blank.
- Just listen. Sometimes our partner just wants us to be with them in their struggle without trying to fix them. As someone who feels everyone’s everything, it can be difficult to do this. Call in a big, white angel. When your partner is complaining and in that mood, ask for a big white angel to come in and take the negative energy from both of you. She then sprinkles down rainbow blessings on the two of you. Doing this helps you not to hold the energy of the other person.
- Keep your mental and emotional states clear. When we are focused on our partner’s problems, we can forget about our own. The best way to not take on their stuff is by dealing with ours. Then we will be able to be with that person in a caring and not over caring way. When something comes up for us, it is ours to deal with. Make sure to make the time to deal with it and then fill yourself mentally and emotionally with what you want to think and feel. When we do our part for ourselves, it just might start to rub off on them. Don’t be surprised if they ask you for help as you move more into your own lane.
Like I said, it isn’t easy when our partner is having a hard time. Be gentle with you and don’t expect perfection when trying these tools. Progress, not perfection is my motto. I hope these tools help. I wish you and your partner or future partner well.