I had a dream where a woman was taking her teenage daughter to an appointment. The girl kept telling her mother she needed to hurry so she wouldn’t be late. There was a feeling of aggravation towards her mother for lagging. I had huge compassion for the mother, who was not only hurrying to get her daughter to her appointment on time, but also having to deal with her daughter’s rushing. When they arrived at the appointment, the facilitator said she was late and maybe she could include the girl in her next appointment so that they could all meditate together.

When I awoke from this dream, it brought up something around a part of ourselves who need to heal something from our younger years. It brought up questions about how we can use one or both of our caregivers as an excuse for not being where we want to be in life. In the enlightened world, we hear people talking about having a victim mentality. That’s not what I’m talking about here. I’m talking about the part of us that could be stuck in patterns subconsciously from things that happened in our upbringing. It could be a parent, sibling or romantic partner that brings up such triggers in us that maybe they are meant to do so that they can help us move forward on our spiritual path. It could show up as trying to pull you into their drama. What if they aren’t trying to cause you delays in your life? What if our judgments are incorrect and there’s something we’re missing? What if our judgments and conclusions, based on our past experience with that person are blocking us from seeing the situation with clear eyes? This is where suffering perpetuates.

How is your attitude about the past? Have you been looking back at what was wrong versus what was learned and who you became in the process? I’ve heard people say they are the way they are and where they don’t want to be because of the past. There’s that one person who always pushes the button. That person who makes you huff and puff. That person who always does that thing to slow you down in moving forward with your dreams.

What if that person is there, on a spiritual level, to help you become the person you’ve been wanting to become? What if that frustration or problem with that person is you next lesson that will help you move into becoming the person you need to be to accomplish the next level of success in your life? Maybe more patient, more loving or more compassionate.

While we do have inside of us, the ability to be a magnet for that which we want in life, we also have lessons to move through to grow as a human on the planet. We don’t have to like them, but what if we just take a moment to reflect on that thing that’s been hooking us to heal?

Maybe it’s not a distraction to take us off of our forward momentum. It could be there as a stepping stone to moving closer to what we want.

If there’s that thing that keeps showing up, it’s showing up for a reason. Spirit, the Universe, God all give us what we need exactly when we need it. What if tending to that annoying thing is exactly the key to getting where we want to go? Take just a few moments for reflection on why that thing keeps showing up?

Tip: if it is a person who’s poking you or rubbing you the wrong way, ask yourself, “What is it that I need to do to move through this?” It is a much better alternative than blaming that person for doing that thing that bothers you. They’re just being who they are. We can’t change them. We can only change ourselves. They are there to bring you some gem that you have asked for on a subconscious level. When we arrive to a place of being grateful for this person in all their (fill in the blank with what they do) we will have moved into a higher level of us. It takes a dedicated warrior to take this on, and it is so worth it. Victory is available to us in each area of our lives if we are willing to take the time to pay attention to what our life is presenting to us. Love yourself through the muck. It’s not easy and not fun. Wherever you are, I’m here doing it with you.