I had a dream for a client who said she wants to be rid of heartache from her ex. She’s been thinking of him a lot lately. There have been a lot of circumstances and memories coming to the surface right now for humans to grieve. It makes sense that this is showing up for her now.

The dream I had was where a woman heard a baby crying. She walked into a room where there was a baby boy on a couch. He was uncomfortable and crying for someone to come. When nobody came, he became more distressed so the woman walked over to him and picked him up. She brought him into her chest area enveloping him into her heart. It felt as if she was trying to help him feel loved. It also felt as if she took him into her heart and now his suffering was in her energy. While this is normal for an actual child and caregiver, in love relationships, this is a codependent trait and will drain her energy and prevent her from moving on. This is not a conscious action on her part. The guilt that she felt from leaving her ex, even though he was a good person, was not the only emotion she was holding. She was feeling his  heartache as well.

When I awoke, I wondered who this baby boy was. When I asked her, she said she has done this with all of the, “boys,” in her life. She did it with family members, guy friends and romantic interests. Each one was wounded from neglect in childhood and she was drawn to them. She is a natural healer and came from a dysfunctional home where her parents came from toxic backgrounds as well.

She was begging to break the pattern in her life of being attracted to the wounded ones out of familiarity. Even her own family and friends dumped in her space when interacting with her and were not willing to take responsibility for their own happiness. None of them have sought their own healing. The attention and time they needed from her was too much to bear in each relationship. This is typical when empaths enter into a romantic relationship too soon. She had to learn to hold boundaries and to energetically let each one go.

It is important to note that it wasn’t a problem that she was attracting these types of romantic partners. It was the fact that she moved forward with them after realizing that they were wounded or, in her words, needy. There was no amount of attention that would fill the hole in their hearts and she needed to stop trying to be that savior for them. It’s not a partner’s, friend’s, or family member’s job to save the other.

When we realize what we are holding in our energy, we can let it go energetically with the help our our spirit team. Just ask for help and it will help. This will help us get back to a clear space for creating the relationship we desire in the future. I told her, “If you sniff a baby in a man, meaning an attention hog, don’t pick it up. You won’t want to save a whole man.” We all have our own healing to do and we don’t need the burden of being with someone who isn’t willing to do their own. You can be patient… twenty years later he may step it up… or move on.

A healthy relationship is where two whole people know that there are four people in each partnership. The adult and the inner child. Each partner is responsible for tending to their own inner child. She was able to give the guilt to her angels so she could stop focusing on his hurt and on her own desires. We cleared her ex’s energy out of her space and she was able to breathe deeply.